, , , ,


I open the door and then close it behind me. My shoulders slump as my baggage slides to the floor. I drop the keys onto the side table. I lift my hand to push my hair back. My head is throbbing. I am exhausted.

The small apartment is echoing with silence.

I stand in the entryway and stare up the hallway. The long row of picture frames gaze back at me. Life frozen into single moments. Faces smiling or staring at the camera and now at me. Pictures in the park. Parents with their long arms scooping up their children. Robe-decked teenagers grinning hesitantly about their futures after school. Brides and grooms staring at each other over clasped hands. Pets glaring, uncertain why they are being stared at instead of petted. Couples and groups of friends smashed together as their unseen arms stretch the camera out as far as possible, to capture their flushed cheeks and wide grins.

So many happy people who are now only faces in a frame. I slump to the ground. They are all gone. One by one, I watched them all disappear into the ground. I am alone.

Because of me they were snatched away.

What if karma was king? What if you only kept what you deserved? What if the only people in your life were the ones you deserved and appreciated?

I would have nothing left.

But God is king. And He gives us what we need not what we deserve. He is love.

Because of Him, I’m sitting in my beautiful home. I can hear my sister’s music playing in the next room. My incredible boyfriend is texting me. I am warm, employed, fed and happy.

None of which I deserve but all of which I have received. I am surrounded by un-deserved blessings. Today I am thankful.